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Written by Patrick Porter
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Thursday, 01 February 2007 |
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Word Count: 412 Types of Self-Defeating Communication
If there was a law against people verbally abusing themselves, it would be a
safe bet that most Americans would now be in jail. The things we say to
ourselves both silently and out loud are amazing! And we say these things to
ourselves almost constantly. For example, how many times have you found yourself
making derogatory remarks about how you reacted to a situation you have just
experienced? We tend to judge and invalidate our actions when they are out of
sync with our beliefs about what is right and wrong or good and bad.
If you are like the average person in our society, I suspect that you make such
self-deprecating statements all too frequently. Likewise, I strongly suspect
that the frequency with which you verbally abuse yourself about goals detracts
significantly from your results.
I have good reason for both suspicions. First, it is common knowledge that
people talk to themselves when involved with certain tasks. Salespeople talk to
themselves before meeting a client, lawyers talk to themselves about judges and
jurors and musicians talk to themselves about the requirements of a piece they
will play. Butcher, baker, or candlestick maker — it makes no difference. All
people talk to themselves.
There are two types of self-defeating statements that people are prone to make.
First, there are negative self-statements; that is, statements that deprecate
your own self-worth and abilities. Second, there are self-pressure statements;
that is, statements that bring greater pressure on you than the situation
demands.
When you make either self-pressuring statements or negative self-statements,
several things can happen, most of which are bad. Negative self-statements
frequently become what we call self-fulfilling prophecies. This simply means
that because we expect negative reactions from ourselves, based on the negative
things we’ve said about ourselves, we are likely to behave accordingly. This is
because we begin to think obsessively about how bad we are rather than think
about what we need to do in order to properly execute.
Fortunately, simply by being aware of these types of self-defeating statements,
you can work to develop a positive approach to your self-talk, and overcome this
negative cycle.
Article Source: www.webraydian.com
Dr. Patrick Porter is an entrepreneur, award-winning author, and motivational
speaker. His electrifying keynote speeches and seminars deliver the real life,
nuts ‘n bolts concepts he used to take his business venture to astounding
heights.
http://www.patrickkporter.com
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